Fergie Tractor

1
Well I run a few acres, pay a few quids rent
And I overcome troubles when they be sent
Be it flood or drought or some other factor
I takes them in stride on me fergie tractor

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Oh me beaut little fergie tractor
By dad she goes like the clappers
I can plough me fields and increase me yields
Even comes with a silage extractor
Me beaut little fergie tractor

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2
The fergie she's a wondrous machine
I like to sniff the exhaust because it always runs clean
There's no other machine that I ever took a jack to
As fewer times as me fergie tractor

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3
Now the council has been on my back for years
About genetic experiments and mutated beers
But did they complained bout my nuclear reactor
I tore down the town hall with my fergie tractor

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4
I had a milking assistant working for me
An the material in her blouse filled me with glee
I gave her a wink, but I then had to sack her
For although she liked me she hated me tractor

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5
Now some folk say that I'd be an idiot
And if brains were light bulbs that I'd burned out my filament
But people like that I just turn my back to
And I go in the shed and I sit on my tractor